Working Mom Woes: Mogul, Mom and Maid #mogulmommaid
**I’m delighted to be participating in the Mogul, Mom & Maid Blog Carnival. Check out the book by Liz O’Donnell, http://www.mogulmommaid.com.
When you’re a mom that works full time outside the home, trying to achieve that so called “balance” is something you think about often. I know I do, it’s something I am constantly thinking about.
I’ve come to realize though, that balance is BS.
The word “balance” implies that all sides get equal amount of energy and commitment and I don’t think that’s possible! My reality as a working mom is that sometimes, something has got to give. I’ve learned that it’s OK to not (and impossible) have a perfect house, perfect nails, a perfect outfit, a perfect social life… for me it is more like a messy house, once in a blue moon manicure, outfit put together with whatever clothes are available, and a practically nonexistent social life.
Don’t get me wrong, I like being a mom. I absolutely love my son. There are things about being a mom, though, that I could do without— the 24/7 tiredness, the tantrums, the whining and the constant NOs. (My son in in his terrible twos phase.) Of course, those are trumped by his hugs, kisses, the way his face lights up when he sees me, and the countless “Te Amo mama” (I love you mom).
My mom important job: Mom.
Mogul, Mom, and Maid
If I had to define my mix of “Mogul, Mom and Maid” I’d put it this way: I’m a mom first and foremost, a mogul second, and a maid last. Actually, I’d love to eliminate the “maid” all together.
For me, it’s the part I have the hardest time with, being that I am messy by nature. Thankfully, I have cleaning help, and I am not afraid to send my clothes out to the laundromat, or to order take-out. There was a time that I felt guilty about this—but I sat down to do the math—there are only 24 hours in the day. I work an 8 hour day, I commute two hours a day, I have classes some nights and don’t get home until late… and I need to sleep.
So while I could wake up at 5 am to work out or do laundry I choose not to, and boy am I glad I don’t. I would be absolutely miserable doing so. So, I live in my messy house and sometimes I have to wear my husband’s socks because I don’t have any clean ones.
I realize that the picture I just painted might make me seem like I have a boring life, but I really don’t. I actually have a lot going on—I work full-time, I am going to graduate school, I am a freelance writer and blogger – I guess that is my “mogul” side. These things—work, school, writing, make me feel alive in a way that being a mother doesn’t.
In reality, I put being a mom ahead of everything else—I know that it may seem to some people, that I don’t because I am not a stay at home mom…. How can a mom want to spend the day away from her son? Well, I think everything I do on the side, makes me a better mom. I know I would be unhappy if I wasn’t partly “mogul.”
Sometimes being a mogul and mom requires taking your LO to work!
As I think about what future job prospects I have after I finish my degree, I worry about whether or not I will have flexible hours that will help me the kind of mom that I want to be, and be the kind of employee I want to be.
I’m thankful for social media and mothers who are truthful about their experiences. This year, I had the opportunity to hear other working moms talk about their experiences and share how they aren’t always at the baseball game, or can attend the class trip, or bake the cookies from scratch. Listening to other moms talk about how they manage their time and priorities definitely helps, because it makes me realize “It’s not only me!” and “I’m not in it alone!” (Special shout out to to Luly Balepogi, who said “Guilt is a useless emotion.” at the Hispana Leadership Summit and Jeannette Kaplun at Latism13 for sharing their truths on being working moms!)
I hope the conversation will continue and we can make some progress so that moms can not only be maids but can embrace the mogul inside them.
I thought about making a list of my tips for working moms but truthfully, this list, created by Liz O’Donnell, is right on point. I’d just add “Pinterest Mafia” to number 7.
It’s so important that we working mothers continue to voice our concerns, and continue to advocate for change in the workplace; that is the only way we will see change happen.
Don’t forget to check out Mogul, Mom and Maid and tweet your #mogulmommaid moments!