My truth about breastfeeding

I am going to make a confession… I wasn’t that crazy about the idea of breastfeeding… and using a pump— that just reminded me of the machines used to pump milk out of cows! when i was pregnant people would ask me if I was going to breastfeed and my response was “I’ll try.. if it works great and if it doesn’t oh well…” well it turns out my little one latched… from the start. no problema there… so breastfeeding for me kind of just “happened.” i wasn’t a staunch opponent or proponent.

When Baby E was four months, i was super excited about getting the go-ahead to feed him solids. The Dr. smiled and said “Oh you’re bfeeding? thats great! we’re going to keep doing that exclusively until the 6th month.” (my big smile turned into a confused HUH?! what just happened?!) so i went home and kept at it for another 2 months… when 6 months came around i just thought, well i guess i will keep going until there’s milk in there. At that point i guess my goal was to just do it until a year, and then incorporate cow’s milk. (hey i figured i’d save money on formula!)

So explain to me, universe, how-here i am 8 months later… and i am STILL breastfeeding?? not exclusively, and i have stopped pumping, thank goodness, but as much as i dangle the bottle in front of my son in the mornings he is not having it.

Now, I am torn. First of all, because there could be worse things to be worried about… in the grand scheme of things this isn’t bad (it’s still nutritious & GOOD for baby) but here’s the thing- my son’s mouth exploded with teeth in the last month— molars, the works. It hurts a bit. Second, i do not want him to be like the TIME magazine kid (this might be my second fear after my kid not learning Spanish). This morning Baby E was crying like someone had profoundly hurt him— and i tried everything until i finally gave him the boob and turns out—that is what he wanted!

So many questions in my mind— how do i wean him? maybe he isn’t ready? maybe he was just having a bad morning and needed extra comfort? maybe i should go away for two days and then he will forget they ever existed??

The ironic thing is that i never thought i would find myself in this situation… and I also never thought i would hear people saying “It’s about time to stop breastfeeding.. he’s too old…” (especially the SAME people that were saying “oh, you’re BF? that’s wonderful!”) Well people… Easier said than done!!

Is there a lesson here? i can’t even say it’s “be careful what you wish for” because really didn’t even *wish* it. Secretly, (and not so secretly since it’s now on the Internet) I am happy that I was able to go so long…but a mouth full of teeth! Really?! I think it’s time… now how do i get Baby E to realize that too? (hey…at least he isn’t asking for it in the park!)

Diana Limongi
Diana a mom, activist, nonprofit professional, podcaster and writer from Queens, NY. She writes about motherhood, activism, raising my multilingual kids, culture and travel. She and her multicultural family live in Queens, NY.

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