1. 10 months into it, I think bedtime routine saved my sanity.
2. It’s great that my LO is repeating everything I say… except when he is trying to repeat the occasional curse words that may make their way out of my mouth.
3. The ability of someone so cute and cuddly to produce such massive amounts of poop baffles me…Why? How? WHY???
4. Baby classes are great for kids- but they are meant to exhaust parents and kids share a lot more than toys (bodily fluids, germs, etc)
5. You know that gut feeling that says “don’t dress him up until you are ready to go out?” and you know how you ignore it?? Well… I’ve learned, you don’t ignore the gut feeling! (never fails, ready to go out… spills/dirt/stains/spit will happen)
6. When all else fails, give a kid any O shaped cereal.
7. I used to think gift cards were impersonal, but now I truly appreciate their worth…so practical have some stashed when LO needs to go shopping!
8. I don’t know what the top Ten or Rihanna’s latest hit is, but I do know all the lyrics to all the Fresh Beat Band songs…
9. and I confess I sing them even when my son is not with me!
10. Everyone talked about the lack of sleep when baby arrives, but no one mentioned the lack of bathroom privacy… SERIOUSLY —- WHAT is up with that??
11. you know that ONE time when you think you won’t need your big diaper bag that has everything you could possibly need? So you leave with a couple of diapers and wipes in your purse, acting all confident? THAT is the day when your kid decides to spit up, or has a poopy diaper explosion, or makes a mess on his shirt… that day when you don’t have a change of clothes, that is when it happens, not all the other 364 days when you are overly prepared.
12. When you hear a screaming baby or toddler in a public place—don’t judge. That might be you one day… or maybe that was you before. Just smile sympathetically and walk away. (or offer to buy me a drink)
13. If you don’t have a baby and really love your friend who has a cute baby at home, offer to babysit, you will score like a gazillion good karma points.
14. Babies are smart—they will try to outsmart you… it’s a parent’s job to not let that cute smile and adorable face to get away with murder…even if that means they cry their little eyes out… they will eventually forget you said no… and…
15. It is OK to say no.
16. Some things do get easier—I remember I missed my first doctor’s appointment because it was taking me FOREVER to get ready. I was A HOT MESS! Now, I still go back to my apt at least twice to get something I forgot before I leave the house, but hey, at least I don’t miss my appointments. (Celebrate the small wins!)
17. Those stairs in the subway in those elevator-less stations?? They were so daunting at first; I wouldn’t dare go alone with baby and stroller… now? No problem! (I would still prefer if the elevator was available… despite the stink inside—I just learned to hold my breath for a bit, and don’t let baby E touch anything, eeewww)
18. That being said, yes some things do get easier… some things just DON’T. It’s motherhood, instructions not included.
