Motherhood

​ 3 Ways The Second Baby is Easier Than the First

 
You know how many times we say that the second child isn’t as privileged as the first child? S/he doesn’t get nearly as much stuff as the first child does, probably half of the excitement– things are not new and full of wonder.
 
In many ways, all of that is correct. The first child gets all the attention, all the excitement, all the anticipation, and all new stuff — my second child has inherited all the big gear from her brother! My first baby got celebrations galore, his grandparents even got him a cake for his month “birthday.” My second baby, not so much.
Yes, the first child seems to have a special place in everyone’s hearts– especially if it is the first grandchild! (That’s a story for another day).
But if I’m being totally honest, I’ve realized and  think in some ways the second child has it better — it seems to be the case for me anyway. I think I’m a better mom with my second baby and it’s been much easier (even though the pregnancy took a heavier toll on me physically).

Here are three reasons why I think the second baby is easier than the first:

First, my second baby got a much more relaxed mom.

I remember one day when my husband gave my firstborn cereal for dinner instead of whatever veggies I had left for him. I had such a fit. I got so upset. Now, I’m much more relaxed… cereal for dinner? Sure! No problem! Fed is best right?

Second, I’m much more open to trying new things.

For example : I’ve embraced co-sleeping…
Sometimes my firstborn comes into the room and my daughter is sleeping with me and I’m not going to lie– I feel a tiny built guilty. I didn’t co-sleep with my first and I think that it made me much more grumpier and I was not well-rested. I wonder how much happier I would’ve been If i had co-slept.
and babywearing.
Turns out, sometimes wearing the baby IS easier! And I’ve been taking advantage of it: I have tried about five different types of baby carriers. It’s been pretty cool.

 The Second Baby is Easier Than the First

Third, as parents we are exactly where we want to be.

I had my first baby when I was 29. Before him, it was just my husband and me- going out, sleeping in, those are all things that end when baby arrives. Dare I say that I resented motherhood for it? With the first baby it is really hard (for me anyway) to give up that freedom and carefree attitude that one has pre-baby.
With my daughter, my second child, I was 35 when she was born. She was totally planned and I wanted her so much- the anticipation was great!
 
 
I was a more relaxed and more confident person. Perhaps it’s the wisdom that comes with years, or perhaps it’s that I didn’t need to mourn my pre-baby life.
Even my husband has been able to appreciate fatherhood so much more this time around! With our son, he was working really long hours and would sometimes not even see him because he got home so late.
 

With our second baby, he is working from home and thus has so much more time to be with her. He gives her baths, feeds her, changes her. He has spent every day with her– a luxury that he did not have with our firstborn.

 Finally, I’ve simply stop giving a sh*t about what others think.

 

With my first baby, I would hide and I only have one picture of me breastfeeding him.

I now breastfeed in public, and even take pictures and post on social media when I’m a hot mess.

 

How things change one baby to the next- with my son, i literally have ONE a picture of me breastfeeding him (and only bc my aunt took it) and I can count on one hand how many times I breastfed in public comfortably with my son (now 6) but with my daughter– well I’ve lost all shame and now I realize that it is so much easier for me to just whip out the boob than to pump and pack the milk in bottles (which I used to do with My son) … in my advocacy work for paid leave and family rights I’ve learned a lot about the importance of normalizing these tasks that are of such importance for our babies and mothers. I say if you want to cover up, cover up, and if you don’t, don’t! If it bothers you, Don’t stare! Breasts were meant for feeding babies not for ppl to stare at. #normalizebreastfeeding #nbm2017 #risers #nationalbreastfeedingmonth #soymamalatina #waglove #latinabloggers #mamasconpoder

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With my son, I don’t even have any pictures of him and I at the hospital, just one that we took when I was leaving the hospital, none in the room (with my first baby I also had bruises all over my face and was SUPER swollen, which is why I didn’t really want to be photographed).

The only pic of my son and I at the hospital
When my daughter and I were leaving the hospital

This is not meant to say that all things are peachy. There are things that are hard about having two kids– it’s hard to give both kids attention, more specifically the older one who is very vocal about it, and seems to want attention when I’m breastfeeding or holding my daughter. I try to make him feel special too, I’ll soon be posting about how I am attempting to do that.

Overall I do think the second baby is easier than the first because I’m a more relaxed mom, and we’ve matured as parents. I’m more present in the moment and I’m not missing out on my life pre-baby. I try to savor every moment with her now that she is little, something I don’t remember doing with my son.

The most important piece of advice I can give moms, whether it’s the first, second or third, is to not be afraid to ask for help! We can’t do it alone and that’s OK, remember that mamas!

READ RELATED: MY POSTPARTUM DIARY

Diana Limongi
welcome! I'm a Latina working mom from Astoria, NY, mom to a trilingual four-year old. I blog about motherhood, Latino issues, women's issues, work/life balance, food, parenting and raising my multilingual and multicultural son!

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